My Brush with Comedy Fame

Ohhhh heyyyy Blog I completely forgot about- what's up? How have you been? Sad and neglected you say? oh well here's some blogging love....

I thought we'd kick things off with not so much a weird story but an OMG- did that really just happen? Rewind to about a few weeks ago, when my friend, let's call her M-Diddy, and I attended a benefit concert at the Bell House in Brooklyn for Japan Disaster Relief. It was a normal Tuesday night, and the show consisted of a few comedians and bands (we went to see the band Ra Ra Riot). We got there pretty early, and saw that they had added the comedian/actor Zach Galifianakis to the roster. Our reaction was... sweet!

Since we got there pretty early, we stood in the front row of the venue (the primary reason for this was so that we could place our beers on the stage- priorities people!) and settled in for the evening. A few comedians came on, and well, we weren't fond of them- but then Zach came on to stage. He did a few bits about Kate Middleton (Royal Wedding Fever!!!) and various other things. Then you could tell that he was done, and they then informed him he still had more time before the band was coming on- after that I see him walking towards me and saying "Ma'am come on stage" pointing directly at me. My immediate reaction was WHAT?!?! and then I got on stage.

And so begins Zach Galifianakis's interview with me. He asks me general questions about things like name, where I live etc. Then he asks me what I do for a living. As some of you may know, the type of work I do, is not exactly comedy material, in fact it is very serious and really can't be made fun of. Because of this, I do the run around about my job and here is roughly how it goes:

Z: So Colleen, What do you do?
C: I work for a nonprofit
Z: *makes a few jokes about me being a good person, to which I reply, yea, not so much*
Z: So, what capacity do you work for a nonprofit?
C: Fundraising and event planning
Z: Ok, ok so what kind of nonprofit do you work for?
C: Mental Health
Z: oh perfect- the crazy people, I'm crazy can you help me? *makes a few jokes about being crazy*
Z: so Colleen, what type of Mental health nonprofit?
C: It's really depressing
Z: Just tell me, it's ok
C: Suicide Prevention
**Enter room goes quiet, and his face is like ohhhh crap**

and in conclusion, I am the ultimate Debbie Downer.

I told you I was bad at blogs!

So, my friend is sleeping over and reminded me of this blog I started... CRAP.

So update here we come.........

I thought I'd start again with a recent story from this past Friday night (ok maybe technically saturday morning, don't judge me!). I had a long night out dancing in the East Village and it was about time to take a cab home... I know I sound super Bourgeois- but it was late! So as I am the cab I strike up a casual conversation with the driver and ask him where he is from- he tells me Nigeria. We start to talk about the current political unrest in Nigeria ( I know I am a nerd) and the conversation turns into this rough dialogue:

C.D: You should move to Nigeria, you would love it there

Me: Maybe someday

CD: You should Marry me and move to Nigeria- I own a hotel in Nigeria, you can manage it!

Me: ohhh (laughs) I don't know

CD: No, you can marry me, move to Nigeria- My Hotel is very Nice it has 20 rooms restaurant and bar (pulls out picture of the hotel, it is actually quite nice)- I can support you in Nigeria

Me: Oh well I'm not ready to move right now....

WHAT THE HECK.... what about me makes men think I will marry them on the spot. This is the fifth time this has happened to me... FIVE random proposals...

Other random proposals to come in later posts

*Note as the story went on, he explained to me that he is a Cab driver in NYC from March-November and from November- February he goes to his hotel in Nigeria. The simple reason for this was that he can make much more money here in NYC to send back to invest in the Hotel.... ohhh the global economy

Attack of the Killer Swans

For my first post I didn't want any insane crazy story to start you off with. I have to keep those for a rainy day. I also can't give you a "That's nothing! One time, I went to the grocery store and they were out of bread" (here's looking at you Horse Whisperer). So I thought maybe I'd test the waters with something that I tried out this weekend at a conference.

This one comes from my European adventure back in 2006. I want to preface that I am a bit of an idiot and thought hey... you're 20 years old and a woman and the only other language you can sorta speak is Spanish... know what would be a GREAT idea? If you backpack around Europe by yourself with no real plans for two weeks... yea that's a fabulous idea. Turns out it actually isn't, it's sorta a terrible idea. I was in Europe by myself because there was a two and a half week window between my Study abroad in Luxembourg and Spain, but I couldn't miss this opportunity! As brilliant as this whole idea may have been- I am however, an idiot and I found myself stranded in Geneva. However lady luck struck when I made friends with a Canadian (Tara) and a Brit (Andrew), who were in the same situation, and we headed out to find a hostel.

After settling in we decide to head out to a world cup game at a local bar. The game was between Germany and Poland, and we happened to be at the German themed bar... of course my first reaction is... this should be fun! One thing leads to another and we all end up drinking quite a bit. Andrew and I are arguing with some Spanish guy who loves George W. Bush who is telling me I don't love my country enough and I had made best friends with a German Atsrophysics Professor (or so he said). Needless to say we had a great time and when Tara, Andrew and I left the bar we thought we should extend the night.

This brings me to the actual story, so we wonder up to Lake Geneva a beautiful tranquil lake with swans peacefully swimming near the edge. Of course Andrew and I thought 'hey, it's hot out- lets go swimming'. So we jump into Lake Geneva (clothes on of course, I am a lady) and we enjoy a quick swim. Well guess who did not like that... the swans did not! We see the swans swimming towards us and our first reaction is, beautiful creatures, let's admire them. Then they gain speed and no longer seem like the elegant and beautiful swan in swan lake, but a genetic mutant of Daffy Duck and a rabid Giraffe and they're only out for your blood. I was far more cautious than Andrew and luckily could escape before the swans did any real harm. Poor Andrew had swans coming at him front every angle, they squawked and bit at him with those bloody beaks. Andrew never made it out of the lake that night....


JK he did... he's fine :) He can never attend a wedding without a crippling fear of Swans though... poor guy

First Post

I've never really been one to do well with keeping blogs. I'm like a child in that aspect, I get a shiny new toy and at first it's fun and I want to play with it all day, everyday. Then after about a week I'm done with it (sorry about that Dollhouse I got when I was 8 mom! ). Well I've had some requests to start a blog detailing some of my life stories, so here it goes....

I'd say my first request (and most persistent) came from my mother. She's always been convinced that I attract crazy in my life, and I can't really say she's wrong. At first she insisted that I use a journal to detail my travels, run-ins with the Warrens and Williams of the world and everyday happenings. Well I'll be honest, that never worked out. Her next thought, along with the thought of a former coworker (let's call her D) was that I write a book chronicling these stories. Well honestly, a book is a lot of work and I'm not really down for that. A few of my coworkers suggested I try a blog, so here I am... Hello all 3 readers!!

A little about me... there's not much to say. I am a 20 something living in New York City working for a nonprofit (you might be thinking yea you.... and 20,000 others). I am a huge believer that stories and experiences can really shape a person, this is why I am always sharing my craziest of stories :) I'm not saying that my stories are better or more significant than anyone else's... they just are... JUST KIDDING. No but seriously, if you're ever bored and hulu is down feel free to read through. Just imagine me using the most CRAZY hand motions and sound effects when telling the stories. Also I tend to ramble and since this isn't a term paper I may write as I speak, sorry!

I hope you enjoy, but if you don't that little x in the upper right corner of your window will take care of that.